A Traditional Calabrian Wedding

Weddings in Calabria reflect a blend of time-honored customs, family values, and regional flair. While many couples in Italy choose elaborate church weddings followed by large celebrations, some (like Su and her now-husband Francesco) opt for smaller, civil ceremonies, sometimes followed by a larger event later.

Here's a look at what a typical civil wedding in Calabria looks like from a firsthand perspective.

Civil vs. Religious Ceremonies in Italy

In Italy, couples can choose between a religious wedding (typically Catholic) or a civil ceremony performed at the comune (town hall). Given that about 79% of Italians identify as Catholic, church weddings are still common, especially in the south. However, civil weddings are becoming more popular, particularly among younger or non-religious couples.

Civil weddings are legally binding and can be held in the municipal building or another location authorized by the local government. The officiant is often the mayor or a municipal official. In many small towns, it’s not unusual for the mayor to know the couple personally, creating a more relaxed and communal atmosphere.

I (Su) got married in Davoli, where my husband is from. The mayor grew up with Fra's mother, so it felt special to have him join us together in matrimony.

The Ceremony: A Few Unique Details

One distinctive feature of Italian weddings that surprised me—-religious or civil—-is that the couple typically sits during the ceremony. Unlike in many other cultures where the bride and groom stand throughout the ceremony, this small comfort reflects the Italian preference for blending formality with ease.

The ceremony begins with the officiant reading aloud the sections of the civil code that govern marriage, followed by the traditional exchange of vows and rings. Guests often respond with laughter and applause at lighthearted moments, especially in close-knit communities where everyone knows one another.

I joked when it was my turn to reply to whether I would take Fra for better or worse by responding in English! Everyone laughed, and then I said sì, and just like that, we were married!

The Perfect Backdrop for Wedding Photos

Because Fra and I met in Davoli (and are moving there next week), it felt like the perfect backdrop for our wedding photos.

Calabria, in general, is so picturesque, with its medieval streets, stone staircases, and scenic coastal or mountain views, so anywhere is ideal for wedding photos.

Our photographers likely also got shots of us being greeted by neighbors who were delighted when they saw us in our wedding outfits!

The Calabrian Wedding Meal

Although many Italian weddings involve large receptions at restaurants or villas, some families opt for a more intimate celebration at home, especially if a larger event is planned for a future date. In Calabria, food is central to any gathering, and a home-cooked wedding meal can be just as memorable as a catered banquet.

I began helping Francesco's mother and aunt three days before the wedding to prepare the food. We made almond cookies in the wood-fired oven, homemade pasta, roast beef, lamb, and so much more. A lot of work goes into preparing a multi-course meal!

Other friends and relatives contributed sweets to our wedding lunch. Graffiole are a traditional sweet for weddings, and they're renowned in Davoli. They look like giant cookies covered in icing, though their taste is lighter and more bready than the cookies you're used to.

After the wedding ceremony at the comune, we gathered with Francesco's immediate family (of 20) and enjoyed an hours-long lunch filled with laughter, wine, and full bellies.

Gift Giving at a Calabrian Wedding

At a Calabrian wedding, guests typically bring wrapped presents or envelopes with monetary gifts, which are opened after the meal in a casual, celebratory setting.

Even after the wedding celebration, we continued to receive plants and money from neighbors and other relatives.

Hosting a Sweet Gathering After the Wedding

In many parts of Calabria, it is common to continue the wedding celebration by inviting friends and neighbors over for sweets and drinks after the main meal. This informal gathering usually takes place at the family home and offers a chance for those who were not present at the ceremony or lunch to join in the joy of the occasion.

Guests are welcomed with a table filled with traditional desserts. Glasses of prosecco or homemade limoncello or grappa are offered as toasts are made to the newlyweds.

These small, sweet receptions are a way to include the wider community in the celebration without the formality of a full second event. They highlight the strong sense of hospitality and togetherness that defines Calabrian social life, especially during life’s most meaningful milestones.

The Calabrian Wedding: A Blend of Tradition and Simplicity

Calabrian weddings reflect the region's values: strong family ties, respect for tradition, and a joyful embrace of community. Whether celebrated with hundreds of guests or just a few loved ones, the essence of a Calabrian wedding lies in its warmth and hospitality.

For me, as an American living in Calabria, it was an education to experience having my own Calabrian wedding. I fell in love with the traditions of Calabria long ago, and our wedding was magical in every way.

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